before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
