i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
