He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
