11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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