would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
