she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
