Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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