he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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