Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
