I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
