Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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