Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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