i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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