Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
