Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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