never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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