Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
