I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i permit you to call me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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