Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize