yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
