Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
