First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
