i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Say something about gay babies.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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