i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
