I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
