Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
