perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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