I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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