We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
