i just wanna soil my oats bro
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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