When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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