So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
