no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
