She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
