im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize