Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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