so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
