Can i not drive my cunt home
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
