U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
