This girl is more easily done than said...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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