There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
