ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
