He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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