Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
