I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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