His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
