may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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