Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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