i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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