so that wasnt chicken after all
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
