my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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