the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
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