Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
