sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
