In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize