vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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