is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
