i think i have two assholes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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