Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
