I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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