It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize