Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
