i just wanna soil my oats bro
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
