You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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