The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
