She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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