I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
