wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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