I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
