Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
