what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
