So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
